Blood on the Stairs
by jambled
Summary: What if the blood was on her stairs?
1. Interrogation

Lilly sat at the table in the interview room. She'd never been on this side of it; never been the one questioned, picked apart. Never had her life splashed all over the room like a glittery headline.

"When was the last time you saw Joseph?" Stillman and the team hadn't been able to take the case because of her involvement with them, but he'd assured her they were working as hard as they could to prove her innocence while trying to remain undetected. If internal affairs got wind of them looking into it, they'd dismantle their efforts for sure.

"It was Tuesday night. He stayed over."

"By stayed over, you mean you had sex." Lilly looked at the table. They made love every time he stayed over. Even though they'd been together for a while, they still felt like they were teenagers discovering the joys of sex.

"Yes." Lilly nodded, addressing the scratched metallic surface.

"Who left first the next morning?"

"I did." He'd cooked breakfast while she dressed and they'd eaten eggs and toast together, feet touching under the table, before she'd had to rush to work.

"He was still at your apartment then?"

"Yes."

"Does he have his own key to your apartment?"

"Yes." She'd handed her spare key over to him after only two weeks. He'd never bothered to give her one; he was always at her place, and she could break into the farm easily anyway.

"That was the last time you saw him."

"Yes." Lil clenched her teeth. She wasn't going to cry in front of this detective. That was what weak people did, people who had reached the end and had no other emotion to give. Lilly had anger left; anger that she was suspected, anger that she was locked in this little room, anger that she had to give up some of the most intimate details of her life to a woman who smelt like Marlboro lights and whose suit crackled like cheap fabric.

"We've got time of death anytime between 7.20 and 8.20am. What time did you get to work, detective?"

"I arrived at the office at eight thirty. The walk takes fifteen, twenty minutes." Lilly was glad she had something else to think about, something other than Joseph, cold in the morgue by now.

"See, there's our problem. That gives someone only five or ten minutes to-."

"I didn't kill him!" Lilly looked up, into the woman's eyes. She searched them, trying to find something that said the woman believed her. There was nothing there, though, and Lil had to admit to herself that if she was on the other side of the table, she might not believe her either.

"You risked your career for this man." The detective flipped through Lilly's file. Lil gritted her teeth, didn't answer. If it wasn't a question, she wasn't going to say anything.

"Did you love Joseph, detective Rush?"

"Yes." She had. She'd loved him more than she thought she'd love anyone. He was the first person who had tried to understand the reasons behind the late hours at work. He'd absorbed her tears when she'd told him about her 49 and he'd held her in his arms when she told him about George. He fed her cats when she was home too late, and he liked going to the Laundromat with her just so they could sit and hold hands while the washing machines whirred in the background.

"Sometimes love turns sour." Lilly looked back down to the table. She didn't know how much more she could take. It had been a solid four hours that she'd been sitting on this hard little chair in this cold little room. Stillman had come in once, briefly, and brought her coffee and a bagel. Other than that, it had just been her and the other female detective; she'd heard she was nicknamed the Rottweiler, and she knew why. The woman got hold of something, and wouldn't let it go.

"So things were fine between you?"

"Yes."

"No problems? No fights?"

"No."

"Come on, detective. What relationship is that perfect?" Lilly traced her finger around a swirly scratch mark on the silver table. She wasn't going to answer rhetorical questions, either.

"Did he mind you working such long hours?" Lilly looked up, her hair falling in her eyes.

"No."

"Because we've talked to Jason Kite, an ADA in Pittsburgh, and he says that was the reason why the two of you broke up." Lilly let her eyes drop back to the table. She and Kite were ancient history. They'd been over almost before they'd begun; she'd never been as interested in him as he'd been in her, and he hadn't been able to handle that, or her job. Figures they'd bring him into it; jilted lovers were always favourites with detectives to reveal the worse sides of suspects.

"What was your last conversation about?" Lilly rolled her eyes and shook her head. They were really clutching at straws now; four hours, and they were still trying to find some kind of motive. She just wanted to get out of there so she could start piecing together who actually killed him. Because when she found the bastard that had killed Joseph…

"We were making plans for the weekend. I was going to get off work early Friday and we were going to drive out to… to his place in the woods to stay." She couldn't bring herself to say his name. The last time she'd spoken it, she'd been kissing him, wrapped around him in bed that morning before the alarm went off. The Rottweiler closed her file, came around to lean on the table next to her.

"Five or ten minutes to find a knife from your knife collection, to stab your boyfriend sixteen times in the neck and chest and leave, without your neighbours seeing or hearing anything." The smoke on her breath washed over Lilly as she spoke. More than that, her words sank in and Lil couldn't help it; she couldn't choke back the sobs that wracked her body, made her put her head in her hands and bite her wrist, try and stop them.

"Lainey, something you need to see." There was a quick knock on the door before it opened and a young deputy's head looked in. The woman stood up, straightening her cheap suit. Lilly clenched her hands around her elbows, kept her teeth firmly biting on her wrist. She didn't want to give this woman the satisfaction of having cracked her at all.

"I'll be back." Lainey, the Rottweiler, left, closing the door firmly behind her and Lilly gave herself another moment to collect herself before looking up. She could see herself in the mirror and she wiped under her eyes, removing the mascara tracks that the few tears had left. She wondered who was watching her from in there. When she was interviewing, she never worried about who was behind the mirror; it would only be one of her team, urging her to crack the suspect, soaking up the information they bled at the same time she did. Tonight, it could be anyone in there, looking at her with suspicious eyes.

The door opened suddenly, and Lil looked over, expecting the Rottweiler to be back with a new round of banal questions which wouldn't reveal anymore than the brand of cereal she and Joseph preferred (honey snaps), the names of their cats (Laura, Archer, Olivia and Tripod) or the amount of times they had sex every week (she thought they'd been averaging eight or nine times). Instead, Scotty stood there. He looked tired, as she knew she did. He'd got to the office the same time she did which had been at least thirteen hours ago.

"Lil." His familiar voice was enough to make her eyes fill with tears again, and she angrily wiped them back. She wasn't going to cry for herself. If there was going to be any more crying, it would be for Joseph; for the way he lay near the door for long enough for his blood to pool, flow under the door, dribble over her front steps and still remain scented enough for her neighbour's dog Charley to find it when he took her for a work at 4.30 on the dot that afternoon. Lilly still hadn't been to her house. She knew his body would be gone, but the blood would still be there, dried to black, almost impossible to scrub away.

"Hey Scotty." At 4.45pm she'd been hauled into an interview room at the other end of the building and told unceremoniously that the man she loved had been killed in her living room, and that she was the main suspect.

"Stillman's pulled some strings. You can go home. Without a confession, they've got nothing."

"They've got a knife from my kitchen, Scotty, and a window of opportunity that they figure only I can fill." As optimistic as Scotty was trying to sound, Lil knew she wasn't off the hook. She was always going to be the main suspect by default, no matter what her job description was. She'd worked an endless amount of cases where lovers had killed lovers; it was always love that made people do the craziest things.

"Yeah, but you didn't do it, Lil. They're not going to be able to prove it." Lilly sighed, brushed her hands through her hair before she stood up. Other than the eggs on toast that morning, she hadn't eaten anything and she was feeling faint; she felt Scotty's hands catch her under her elbows as she started a slow sway to the floor. The bagel Stillman had brought her had been stared at before she placed it in the bin. As nice as the gesture was, she couldn't stomach food.

"Steady, Lil." His hands stayed in place as she steadied herself before finally, reluctantly dropping back to his sides.

"I'm fine, Scotty." She didn't want hands on her. She didn't want sympathy, or help, or pity. She wanted to see Joseph. She wanted to go home and sit in the spot where he'd died and then she wanted to crawl into her bed so she could smell him on her sheets. Then, after that, she was going to find out who killed him.

"Lil, let me take you home." Stillman was waiting outside the room, and she was glad to see he and Scotty were the only ones there. Obviously Lainey and the deputy had departed.

"I need to see him." She looked up in Stillman's eyes, felt his disinclination to agree to her request.

"I don't think that's a good-."

"I don't care, Scotty. I'm going to see him." Lil cut him off without looking at him, her eyes still aimed at Stillman. He nodded finally, almost imperceptively.

"But Sir-." Lilly was already walking away from them when Scotty's words reached her and she knew Stillman wouldn't stop her because Scotty thought it was a bad idea. Sure enough, a few minutes later she could hear two sets of feet following her down the stairs. The morgue where the bodies were held was a three block walk; there was meant to be room for it at the station, but the architects hadn't bet on the amount of filing space a PD needed, so the morgue had been setup in the basement subsection of a satellite office of the PDD. It had been annoying when she'd been in the homicide squad that dealt with warm bodies; walking three blocks through snow and blizzard weather to stand around while a body was dissected had never been the ideal way to spend a day. But it was necessary for justice.

"I'll drive you, Lil." Scotty caught up with her first, his hand lightly resting on her shoulder.

"I'll walk, Scotty." She shook it off, pushed open the doors to the cool weather outside. Her coat was still hanging in the office, along with her bag. She hadn't had a chance to get anything before Lainey and her partner had hauled her to their offices. She didn't even have her gun, but she figured it had probably been confiscated by now, kept under lock and key. Murder suspects didn't usually get handed weapons.

She could hear him walking behind her still, stiltingly, as if he wasn't sure of his place in this. She'd let him suffer, refuse to assign him a role out of the many he could take; partner, friend, shoulder to cry on. He'd refused her help when Alyssa had died, and now she was beginning to understand why. If you barricaded yourself off from everyone, there was less chance you'd break down. Maybe the Rottweiler had been a godsend; she hadn't given Lilly much time to absorb the shock of the news. It still hadn't fully sunk in, which was why Lilly needed to see him. She needed to convince herself he wasn't going to come walking through her door again, pizza in one hand, the other already held out to wrap around her waist as she kissed him. The anger was slowly giving way to cold, numbing grief, but she needed it back. Needed the pinpoint focus it brought her, the adrenaline, the thirst for revenge.

Pushing open the street level door that led directly down to the basement, Lil didn't hesitate before she clattered down the stairs. She could hear her breathing, harsh in the confined cement. She tried to slow it, rein it in.

"Looking for Joseph Shaw." Lilly let herself into the main autopsy room after her badge had got the bored guard to wave her through the security door. The medical examiner looked up from the spongey body he was examining; Lil didn't look too closely but she could tell from the stench it was a floater.

"And you are?"

"Detective Rush. I just need to see him. It's in relation to a case." Letting the lie roll off her tongue easily, she sensed the man's reluctance. It almost killed her to look professional right now, but she must have managed it convincingly enough as the medical examiner sighed, took his gloves off. He moved his hand along the rows of drawers before stopping at 083. Vaguely, Lil heard Scotty arrive in the room but her focus was on the rolling steel drawer as it opened. The sound was amplified by her senses, and she thought she could almost hear the sheet covering him moving with the breeze the opening drawer created.

"Joseph Shaw. Sixteen knife wounds. Bled out in a few minutes after one of the wounds hit a main artery…" The man's droning voice faded out until Lilly could only hear her own breathing, the ragged edges of it sharp as it caught in her throat on each in and exhalation.

He looked so cold on the trolley, so pale. She tentatively reached a hand out. When the medical examiner didn't reprimand her, she figured they'd taken all evidence off his body that they could find, and she wasn't going to contaminate anything.

His skin was chilly, almost clammy. His eyes had been taped shut and she guessed he'd died with them open; that they'd been held rigidly, unseeing, in the grips of rigor mortis. Her hand trailed down the side of his face, down to his neck. There was one knife wound that was visible above the level of the sheet and it looked deep, hollowed out. The edges were puckered, dark purple. She remembered now, that the dead could still bruise. Something about blood settling.

Drawing her hand back, Lilly bit her lip hard enough to draw blood, sucked at the wound. She needed to hurt. She needed to be in as much pain as he'd been when he died, to atone for the fact that she hadn't been there; that he died alone.

She bent quickly, pressed her warm lips to his cold, unanimated ones. A quick, breathed whisper in his ear and she stood, straightening her shirt. She was done; this wasn't Joseph, any more than she was the same Lilly Rush she'd been this morning. And someone was going to have to pay for that.

"Lil?" She passed Scotty on her way back out, ignored the question in his tone. Her sensed were returning and she could smell the sickly sweet odour of the floater cloying the air, the scent hanging over the room heavier than snow clouds. Footsteps behind her again, and she could sense Scotty following her once again, trailing in her wake like a lost puppy. Lil flipped open her phone as she climbed the stairs, ordered a taxi. She didn't have time to walk to her apartment; while the anger was burning, she was going to channel it before it dropped into a belly wrenching, soul shuddering grief that she'd have to work hard to claw her way out of.

"Lilly?" Scotty came up behind her as she stood on the curb, waiting. The operator had promised her five minutes and she gritted her teeth as the seconds crawled.

"I can drive you somewhere."

"I'm going home, Scotty."

"But…" He didn't want to tell her what she already knew about; had been picturing in her head. All the blood. All his blood.

"You want to help? Go home, Scotty. Just leave me alone."

"Lil, I know what you're going through-." She whirled and cut him off.

"Like hell you do. You and Alyssa? You were so close, I'm sure. Close enough that you didn't even try and catch who did it yourself. Close enough that you didn't mind getting caught up with my sister as soon as your precious girlfriend was out of the picture. Joseph and I-." Lil stopped as she realised she'd spoken his name; realised the bite and the misplaced hate she'd put into her words. She could always produce such maliciously venomous words when she put her mind to it. She could already see the look on Scotty's face; the same look that had come when she'd accused him of lying to her face, of seeing Christina. This time, though, he recovered more quickly, moved towards her. Lil turned around to the street again so her back was to him, waved an arm as the familiar colours of a taxi came around the corner. Just in time. She could feel his name, still hanging in the air. Rebiting her lip, Lil climbed into the taxi when it got there. Leaning forward to the driver, she gave her address before they were away. She didn't look back.

_So, I know. It's a little AU, but it was screaming at me to be written. Please give me your thoughts. _


	2. Bleach

**Playlist:** MLK by U2 / Munich by Corinne Bailey Rae / Alone by Trespassers William

She almost gasped when she saw the front step, but held it in. Forensics had already been through, tramped around her house with his blood tacky on their shoes, still capable of leaving marks. The yellow tape marking her house as a crime scene was fluttering in the slight breeze and she ripped it away, dropped it to the ground where it coiled in on itself, lying bunched and useless. Then her key was in the lock and she was taking a big step over the blood to get in the house. She could hear the cats in the bathroom; CSU had probably locked them in there to keep them away from the blood. Lilly had no intention of letting them out until she was sure they wouldn't run over, try and lick at his dried blood.

There were messages on her answering machine, and she pressed the play button as she grabbed bleach from under the sink, let Stillman's worried voice paint the air as she poured it on the blood stain. Vera told her he would be there if she needed to call while she scrubbed, ignoring the way the bleach ate into the wood, whitened the hardwood to pine. At least it was turning the black to maroon to a softer pink before dissolving it completely. Jeffries told her he'd be sitting next to his phone all night. Just in case she felt like talking. Bleach poured down over the front steps as the night air came in, removed some of the metallic tang of blood from the air. The cats yowled from the bathroom, and Scotty's third phone call finally ended with a worried silence before the dial tone came between them. Lilly shut the door and ran a cloth over the new white spot on the floor. It was still a reminder, as it should be, but it wasn't him now, the blood that had poured out while he'd slowly died on her floor.

"Hey girls." Lil opened the bathroom door and slid to the floor as the cats crowded her, leaning her back against the sill, enjoying the sting as her backbone pressed onto the wood. Just like the bitten lip, she welcomed the pain. She needed something to keep her from becoming a small, curled figure on the floor, tears constantly refreshing, ability to function as destroyed as Joseph's life had been. Ten minutes of attention from the girls was all she could handle before she pushed them away, pulled herself back to her feet. Grabbing at the door frame, Lilly waited until the latest bout of dizziness had passed. She yawned, made her way up the stairs, cats in her wake. A quick shower made her feel slightly more human and she left the bedroom dark as she walked around to her side, climbed into bed. Turning to Joseph's side of the bed, Lilly tucked a hand under her pillow and stared into the darkness. She reached a hand out to rest on the empty space and slowly, finally, the silent tears stained her pillow as she drifted into dreams of Joseph calling to her while she stayed motionless, frozen, unable to stem the blood that flowed from him to pool around them both.

Scotty awoke to a beautiful day, but ignored the sun painting his walls yellow as he checked his phone. No messages. No missed calls. Obviously, she wasn't going to be reaching out to him. He'd seen her face as she'd stared down at Joseph's body, and he'd recognised how she'd felt. But he'd turned and punched another morgue drawer until he'd drawn blood on his fist, brought tears to his eyes that weren't directly related to Elisa. Lilly had just kissed the pale lips, straightened her jacket, called a cab. She'd started going through the motions of life quicker than Scotty had been able to, and though he knew she was strong, he didn't think she was going to be able to hold it together for much longer. She'd come close to snapping out, throwing his words back at him with toxic interest invested before pulling back again, shutting him out. As much as he knew she was hurting right now, her words still met their mark, cut him to the bone. He'd dealt with Elisa the only way he knew how; buried himself further in his work, tried to find an adequate distraction in Chris and kept his ear to the ground with her case. Then again, Elisa had been filed as a possible suicide. Scotty had begun to believe it, the words in the mirror cementing the thought that had been growing for a while; that Elisa wasn't well, and she wasn't getting better. According to the copy of the prelim report the team had managed to bribe off one of the officers working the case, Joseph had been stabbed to death in a sudden attack. He'd managed to pull himself a little way to the door before losing strength from the blood pumping out of his jugular. The frenzied nature of the assault firmly pointed to someone who had history with Joseph. The fact that he'd been pretending to be dead for a year, and that Lilly was one of the few people who knew he was alive put the ball in her court. The fact that he died in her house, when she'd left only minutes before put her picture first on the list of suspects. Scotty had to admit, it didn't look good for her. He'd tried to be upbeat about it when he'd finally managed to see her in the interview room, but she'd looked back at him with tear stained eyes and let him know she was a homicide detective as well; she could put two and two together and come up with herself as well as the next person.

"Hello." Scotty picked the phone up in a hurry, not bothering to look at the number. If Lil had gone to a hotel instead of home, he wouldn't recognise the number anyway.

"Only me, Scotty. You heard from her?" Stillman sounded as if he'd been awake for hours, and Scotty imagined he'd gone home late from the office, and was back there already. He didn't let false accusations rest on the shoulders of his officers if he could help it, and Lil was his golden girl; he'd be doing everything he could to clear her name.

"No, Boss. She called you?" Scotty heard Stillman sigh, figured the answer before he spoke.

"No, she hasn't." There was silence between them for a moment; acknowledgement that she probably hadn't called anyone, that she'd probably shouldered this alone, along with everything else that had deviated from perfect in her life.

"Listen, do me a favour, Scotty. Could you call in at her place on your way to work? Just see if she's there. I've been calling her at home, and there's no answer. Her cell's switched off, too."

"Sure, no problem. I'll see you soon." Scotty ended the call, turned to throw the phone onto the bed. Looking back into the bathroom mirror, the bags under his eyes mocked him. He sighed, rubbed the stubble that had grown overnight, reached over to turn the shower on. Lil had gone AWOL before on account of Joseph. He hoped she wasn't going to do it again. Using up a sick day to chase up leads for a supposedly dead man was one thing, but disappearing when you were the lead suspect in a murder investigation was something else again.

Lilly woke before her alarm went off. She slowly stretched out, released Joseph's pillow which she'd hugged to herself sometime through the night. Looking up at the ceiling, she tried to pretend the night before had never happened. With no one breathing beside her, though, it was useless. He was gone. And she was back to being alone.

After showering, throwing enough clothes in a bag to last her a few days and ignoring the half of the closet that held Joseph's things, Lil went downstairs. The bleach, brush and cloth she'd used last night were still out, sitting like beacons on the floor, which was still whitened. She put everything back under the sink. There was an ache inside of her that had nothing to do with hunger, but she tried to fill it with half a piece of dry toast that wedged in her throat, and that she had to run to throw up as she was lacing up her boots. Coming downstairs with her bag, she dropped it and called for the cats. One more thing to do before she left.

"No one was home." Scotty said as soon as he walked in. Stillman was out in the main room, leaning on Lil's desk, flipping through the thin file they'd manage to compile on Joseph's case by bribery, calling in favours and downright threats. He put the file aside, took off his glasses to rub his eyes.

"I rang the bell for twenty minutes, knocked. She woulda heard me if she was in there."

"Might not have wanted to answer." Stillman said. Scotty shrugged.

"I woulda gone in, but… Blood was gone, too."

"Hm?"

"Blood, from the front steps. Like someone's bleached it."

"What are we talking about?" Will joined them, looking as though he'd gotten as much sleep as the rest of them. Scotty looked over, stated the obvious.

"Lil. Doesn't look like she's at home. Been there, though, the blood was cleaned up."

"You go in?"

"Nah. No key. Didn't want to break the door down if she just went to a hotel for the night or something."

"I've got a key." At Stillman and Scotty's surprised looks, Jeffries shrugged.

"She wanted me to feed her cats a few weeks ago, when she went on leave. Gave me a key that I forgot to give back." As Scotty stood up, Stillman's hand settled on his shoulder, pushing him back down.

"We'll wait. If she's not in by nine, and no one's heard from her, we'll have a look."

"But-." Scotty started to protest again. Like the night before, Stillman didn't pay any attention.

"Not until then." Scotty picked up the file on Joseph, took it over to his desk. He wanted to drive as fast as he could to Lil's house now, open her door to see her, so sound asleep on the sofa that she didn't hear their calls, didn't hear him hammering on her door until his knuckles felt bruised. He knew it wasn't likely, but he preferred this to the alternative; that she was missing from her own choice, or because, he shuddered to think about it, the person that had killed Joseph had come back to wrap up the loose ends.

"Where's the cats?" Scotty stood in the lounge room, turned. Stillman looked up from the answering machine with a furrowed brow. They'd all walked in, yelling Lil's name. The house felt empty, though, as if she'd departed hours before and they were interrupting the stillness of unoccupation. The patch on the floor where blood lay in crime scene photos was now almost bleached to white, all traces of the murder scrubbed away. The kitchen was as spotless as it always seemed to be, and nothing was out of place downstairs. A jacket of Joseph's hung on the coat rack, but there was nothing visible of Lilly's. No shoes kicked off haphazardly, no suit jacket draped on a chair, no bag set down by the door.

"What?"

"She's got two cats-."

"Four." Jeffries interrupted. "Joseph had two cats. So there were four of them."

"So where are they?" Scotty asked.

"Check upstairs." Stillman said, and Scotty moved to the bottom of the stairs, looked up. Downstairs was for visitors, for people to see. Upstairs was where evidence of the real Lilly would be; where she and Joseph had spent most of their time. Scotty had been downstairs, but had never had the privilege to see any further. He started up the stairs, hoping Lilly would appear, eyes blazing, ordering them out of her house. He got to her bedroom, and pushed the door fully open without anyone appearing. A customary glance was all he needed to see that no one was there. The bed was neatly made, and the room was homier than he expected. Joseph's sneakers could be seen peeking out from under the bed, and Lilly's hair brush was in front of the mirrored dresser. When Scotty looked into the bathroom, he saw two toothbrushes, nestled in a glass on the sink. Two towels were hung neatly on a towel rail and the shower recess was still slightly damp. Flicking open the mirror to look in the bathroom cabinet, Scotty didn't see anything out of the ordinary; spare toothpaste, condoms, a pack of razors, birth control pills, soap. He flipped the mirror shut again and left the bathroom. Feeling guilty, he moved to the wardrobe, slid open a door. Men's shirts greeted him, with hanging trousers punctuating the colours with daubs of denim and grey. In the other side, Lilly's suits hung in pristine condition. He recognised a shirt she'd worn last week and swung the door shut, feeling like an intruder. This wasn't just a house; it was where Lilly Rush and, from the looks of it Joseph, had been living. It was her space, her privacy and her life he was peering into.

"Anything?" Stillman's voice came up the stairs, and Scotty took one last look around.

"Nah, nothing." He left the room, walked back down the stairs, imagining Lil walking down them that morning.

"No cats?" Jeffries asked from the kitchen, and Scotty shook his head.

"Shower was still damp, though. Coulda been used this morning."

"Cat food's gone." Jeffries shut the cupboard door he'd been looking in and joined Stillman and Scotty in the lounge room. Stillman shrugged, walked to the door. It was obvious there were no other clues in the apartment that were going to give them any indication of what had happened to Lilly.

Outside, Scotty looked along the street, saw the standard issue Ford tucked between a VW and a motorbike. He nudged Stillman, motioned to it. Of course Lainey would have put Lilly under surveillance. Stillman walked to the car while Scotty and Jeffries stayed at the steps. Their eyes were drawn to the white trails of bleach that had erased the blood from the stairs.

"Movement at 7.20. Said she took the cats next door. That was it. Far as he knows, she's still in there." Stillman came back after a short conversation that had involved him pulling rank to look at the surveillance log book.

"You let him know he's lost his suspect?" Scotty moved next door and knocked as Stillman shook his head.

"They want to think she's involved, they can waste the manpower."

"Yes?" An elderly woman stood in front of them, floral dress pushed aside at her ankles as the unmistakeable face of Lil's one eyed cat pushed its way to the step.

"We're detectives from Philly PD." Scotty badged her, had to wait while she shook her head and spoke.

"I didn't see or hear anything yesterday. Although I know Lilly didn't do it; she's a lovely girl." There was a quick glance shot between the three of them. Although it wasn't not true, they'd never heard Lil described as a 'lovely girl' before.

"Have you seen Lilly this morning?" Scotty asked, knowing the answer already. He hoped it would draw more out of the woman; get her to tell them what kind of state Lil had been in when she'd dropped the cats over.

"Yes, just after seven. She asked me to look after her cats for a few days. You know, it's just awful, what happened to that man. I mean, I just talked to them both the day before when they were going for a walk while I was repotting my begonias out the front. To think someone could have done that to him…"

"How did Lil seem when she brought the cats over?" Stillman came in with a question as the woman trailed off.

"Fine, considering. She seemed sad, of course, but there were no tears." Stillman looked around them all; they knew only as much as they had when they'd opened the door, and it was evident they weren't going to get much more.

"You said Lil asked you to mind the cats for a few days. Was she coming back after then?" Scotty turned back as he thought of a question.

"Well, that was the strange thing, dear. She told me I could ring the animal shelter and get them to take the cats if she wasn't back."

Lilly pulled her sunglasses over her head so they held her hair out of her face. The wind had suddenly turned vicious, blowing untethered rubbish out of bins in the park so that plastic bags danced amongst the grass, twirling and dipping. She switched hands with her bag as she crossed past the fountain. Children were screaming with delight as the wind blew droplets onto their faces from the heavy spray. Parents watched on, strollers parked. She'd caught an the subway to the park, then walked through towards a motel she knew that wasn't as seedy as the rest that didn't require identification to book in. She needed a quiet place, where no one was looking for her, to compile a list of suspects she could systematically work her way through. Rationality was getting further from her as she walked away from her house, but she couldn't stop herself. Working as a team might have gotten her results quicker, if Stillman had let her in on the case, but the last thing she wanted was pity, and condolences and her team mates warily stepping around her as if she was going to break at any second. Lilly Rush was anything but fragile; and though that might not be strictly true, it had taken her years to build up her persona so that no cracks would ever appear. Right now, she was on the knife edge of sanity, teetering towards complete grief. Right now, anything could set her off. Breaking down in the middle of PDD would kill any kind of ice queen reputation she'd carefully constructed for herself. And though being the ice queen wasn't always fun, it kept her distanced and it kept her safe. Until Joseph had managed to come in under all her defences to mean something to her; and that was before he was alive.

Lil flipped the sunglasses back down over her eyes; hair be damned. Covering her tear glittering eyes from staring passers-by was more important.


	3. Cat Sitter

"Anything?" Vera and Kat had stayed at the office, trying to piece together more about Joseph's case. The team had the luck, at least, of having looked into Joseph's life already, when he was thought to be dead the first time. Lainey's team had come in with a court order, but they'd already made copies of everything.

"Nothin'. Offloaded her cats to the neighbour, managed to sneak out so the surveillance guy didn't even know she was gone."

"Still doesn't." Jeffries added, shaking his head. Much as they were worried about Lil, everyone allowed themselves a small smile at the thought of the surveillance team watching an empty house.

"So, what, you think she's done a runner?" Kat looked between them; she didn't know Lilly as well as they did, but she'd picked up a strong sense of loyalty and honour in the team. Running away from things wasn't on the top of any of their to-do lists. There was silence while they considered it.

"I don't know. But our first priority is trying to solve Joseph's crime; undetected. Chances are Detective Rush will call us in a few days. I'm going to put her down as on leave; anyone asks, she requested time off. What've you guys come up with this morning?" Stillman effectively ended the speculation on Lilly, but Scotty and Jeffries shared a look; if she'd told her neighbour to call an animal shelter for the cats, she wasn't going to call them in a few days. Stillman knew this as well as they did, but if they thought the worst, they weren't going to be as productive. In the car, he'd told them to keep the last line the woman had said to themselves.

"We've looked over all the suspects that we checked out the first time around. Cory is still in lockup; B&E they found he was involved in lengthened his jail time, and word is he hasn't been a model citizen on the inside. Mr Robinson is still banged up, and Mrs R. has moved to New York, probably to chase her dream of finding another Cory."

"Plenty of drug addicts in New York," Will agreed, before Kat continued.

"We've got everything the hom team's got; his movements in the weeks before his death, as much as they can make out. He was working at a few of the rehab places as a counsellor, but it didn't seem like anyone there had a motive. Besides, they can do the legwork on that. His foster mother isn't the type to seek revenge for her son's death. They tracked down Crystal, she's still on the streets. They both have alibis for that morning."

"Which leaves us with a big, fat zero." Vera felt like he had to give voice to their depression at the lack of leads.

"Means we've got to start looking at Lilly." Kat shook her head as all eyes snapped to her, all mouths opened to start abusing.

"Not as the perp. Someone killed Joseph because of his association with her, maybe. It's the only thing left; no one else really knew him. And it's too frenzied to be random. Besides, no one stole anything. You stab a guy, you're going to want to take something for your efforts." Kat shrugged, keeping her distance, not wanting to say it would be Lilly's things they'd be taking. Any time a case got personal, it got harder. Your judgement got clouded, and you made bad decisions. She had a bullet scar in her leg to prove that.

"So, we look at Lilly. We've got the advantage that we know a little more about her. Nicky and Will, make a list of all the cases she's closed, all the perps that have been released from jail since. Scotty, you try and make a list of anyone you know of in her personal life."

"There was that Harley guy." Scotty interjected.

"See if you can look up his address, and go see him with Kat. We'll meet up this afternoon; see what we've got. I'm going to check out at the farm." Stillman left for his office to get his keys as Scotty logged in to the computer. All he had was a first name for this guy. But searching for a needle in a haystack was what detectives did; he'd find this guy if he had to look at every Ray that existed in the DMV database.

"What's that guy's name?"

"Ray." Scotty put in the approximate age he thought Ray would be, waited while the computer whirred and spat out 3,204 results at him. In the Philadelphia area alone.

"There's a Ray in her personal file. Second emergency contact, after the Boss. Guess she never got around to changing it." Kat turned the screen so Scotty could read it. Updating the search fields, he got Ray's current address and wrote it down.

"Priors on a juvvie record; sealed. Nothing since then. Work address at the Harley resellers on Bridge Street." Kat had already logged off her computer and was grabbing her coat. Scotty flipped open his phone, dialled Lil's number as they waited for the elevator. Her voice mail answered him, and he flipped the phone shut again. Same as the last twenty times he'd tried to call her.

Jeffries and Will crossed off the next name on their list. They'd been running through Lil's old cases from the past few years. So far, every conviction she'd made had stuck. Everyone was still in jail, either on long sentences waiting for an appeal or yet to be sentenced. Justice was a slow machine, but so far it had always come through in the end.

"You're looking at the wrong line."

"No I'm not; see, under… Oh." Vera had keyed in the name of a witness instead of a suspect.

"Eve Kendall case. I remember that… Girl murdered at lover's lane. Turned out to be a friend of hers and his father. Put the guy away for thirty years. He had cirrhosis anyway, died late last year."

"Yeah, but look at this. Mark Phillips. He got bashed up too, when Eve died. Turns out he wasn't involved, but he's got some priors; mainly bar fights. All after we solved her case."

"Wasn't he the guy with the thing for Lil? He made excuses to show up, talk to her."

"Who doesn't have a thing for Lil? Until she gets them into an interview room and picks them to pieces, they all want to give her their number. Hell, if I was ten years younger-."

"Print him out." Will interrupted him and Vera pursed his lips, shot him a look as his finger pointed at the print button. Obediently, Vera moved the mouse over it, clicked. The printer whirred to life and Will placed it in the small pile of possibles that would require more legwork.

"Ray Williams around?" Scotty flashed his badge at the greasy mechanic who stood up from a hog to greet them.

"Yeah, Boss is out back. Through the glass door there, then past the lounge. Just go through." The mechanic was back under the bike within seconds and Kat looked to Scotty.

"First time I've been to a bike shop and haven't had to wait for them to hide their stash so they could talk to us. Must be above board." Kat looked at the lounge; comfortable, filled with massive arm chairs and pictures of open roads. A guy in a studded vest and tattoos down both arms barely looked up from his _New Zealand Roads_ magazine as they passed through.

"Ray." Scotty didn't need to ask if the guy was Ray; he recognised the scruffy look and leather jacket from their brief conversation when he'd come into the office.

"Hey. You're Lil's partner, right?" Ray flipped shut the accounts book he had open and stood up, offering his hand. Scotty shook it, waited until Kat introduced herself before taking the offered seat.

"So, what's up? Where's Lil?" Ray looked between them, sobered at the silence.

"How long since you've seen her?" Kat started the questions, but Ray refused to answer. He looked to Scotty.

"What's wrong? Is she okay?"

"Did you know she was seeing someone?" Scotty asked.

"Yeah, Joseph. We had a beer at the pub one night; Lil was at some cop thing." Ray noticed their sceptical glances, ran a hand over his hair.

"Look, Lil and I were long over. I mean, we were together when we were teenagers, for chrissakes. We've known each other for a long time." A shrug, palms outstretched. "You think I would have let Lil see him if he was trouble?" Suddenly, Scotty saw beyond the laid back biker to the man underneath, the one that kept coming back to Lilly. The one that held the same protectiveness of her that he had; secret, silent, but strong.

"Do you still love her?" Kat asked. Ray bit his lip, paused before he answered.

"Yeah. I do. But she was happy. And… Well, she doesn't get to be that a lot. So I left her to it. What's going on? Why the sudden questions? Is Lil all right?"

"We think so."

"What?"

"Joseph was murdered yesterday morning. Lil came up as the main suspect, and now she's done a runner."

"God." Ray drew the word out through his teeth, rubbed both hands through his hair.

"You know she didn't do it, though?" Satisfied at the nods they gave him, Ray bit his lip again.

"You haven't seen her?" Scotty was almost ready to cross Ray off his list. He did own a Harley shop, and he did look like he could take a man out with his bare hands, but he seemed more of a live-and-let-live type. And though he cared for Lil, it didn't seem like he cared enough to kill for her.

"Not for a few weeks. Five or six, maybe. When she came to the bar to get Joseph to walk home."

"Gotta ask; where were you yesterday morning between 7.20 and 8.20?" Kat pulled out her notepad, waited while Joseph thought.

"I got here at eight. My head mechanic can vouch for that. The ride takes half an hour, when I take the back way. I talked to my landlady when I left, at 7.30."

"We'll need those numbers." Wordlessly, Ray wrote them down, passed them over.

"You know anywhere she'd go?" Scotty asked. He hadn't known their history had been so long; Ray might know somewhere Lilly would go as a safe house.

"She was always fond of Knoxville. We nearly got married there." Ray half smiled at the memory before he continued. "Doubt she'd go that far, though. Way I see it, she's working her own case. Doesn't want people pitying her interfering. She was always a bit too proud." He smiled again, rubbed a hand over his stubble.

"You know anyone that would want to hurt Joseph?"

"Not offhand. He was decent, didn't seem the type to make enemies easily." Another shrug.

"Sorry I can't help more."

"Thanks." Scotty stood, shook hands again.

"You ask me, she'll be back. Making murder cop was her dream; she's not just going to throw it away." Ray offered them this last sentence as they were walking out the door, and Scotty half turned, nodded. Ray didn't know that Lil had already almost thrown her career away on this guy.

After booking in, Lil took her coat off and draped it over the table. She looked out the window over a tarmac parking lot; plain, boring and somehow soothing in its sameness. She knew she needed to get started; suspect list, motive list, who Joseph might have opened the door to. Problem was, he was too trusting. He'd probably open the door to anyone, especially if they asked for her. He'd probably invited whomever it was in and offered them a coffee. That would have put them in the kitchen able to grab a knife out of the knife block and start stabbing him with it.

Suddenly, she felt even more alone than she had this morning in bed. His presence was slipping further away from her, and even though it had only been a little over a day, she was forgetting the way he smelt and the way his arm had always draped so easily over her shoulder. Now she realised she was here, in an impersonal hotel room in a part of the city she didn't know with no phone. She'd given it to a homeless guy on the other side of the park, as well as slipping his friends a few bucks each. She knew they'd just get drunk, but someone may as well be happy. She was sick of her phone buzzing in her pocket, and she didn't want the temptation to call someone to overpower her. Not that she had anyone to call; they'd all want her to tell them where she was so they could come to her rescue, save her from herself. Straightening her spine, Lilly took a deep breath, got a pen and pad out of her bag. Shuffling her coat, she cleared room and sat down at the table, pen poised.

Half an hour later, the page was still blank. Everyone who had wanted to kill Joseph the first time around was locked up. She didn't know of any jealous lovers in her past that would be capable of this; Ray looked tough and he rode a Harley but he was a pussy cat underneath. Kite was long gone, and the rest were ancient history, not worth thinking about. Anyone involved with a case would be still in jail. Or they'd have forgotten about her; although anger flared quickly and potently enough towards the police, it was usually spent by the time a case went to trial. She couldn't remember any strange phone calls she'd had. The crazy letters she'd started getting after she shot George had slowed to a trickle before petering out completely a few months ago. Basically, she was at a dead end. Then there was a knock on the door.

It only took twenty minutes to get out of the city, and another ten to make it down the dirt road to the farm. Stillman hoped she'd be there, finding some solace in the place she'd first come face to face with the man who had made her deviate from protocol and lie to her team. Stillman still didn't understand why she did it, but he sensed she didn't either. In the weeks after the Shaw case, they'd all noticed a change in Lilly. Obviously she was still seeing Joseph; sometimes he walked her to work, holding her hand and kissing her goodbye on the steps. Sometimes her cell would ring and she'd take it into the break room to answer, returning smiling. It was happiness that was slowly seeping its way into Lilly. Though still as dedicated to her job, there was a new lightness to her that animated her, made her laugh more often. On one occasion, John had caught her humming as she read over a case file. She'd looked up, caught his eye, fallen silent. He'd asked her how she was and she'd looked to her shoes before finally nodding.

"I'm happy, Boss." That had been the most that had passed between them about Joseph, even though neither of them had said his name. Stillman knew it was Joseph that had prompted the change. And now some senseless bastard had taken that from her, and prompted her to run.

"Lil." The door was unlocked, and Stillman walked in, calling her. He'd unsnapped his holster, as was protocol, and his right hand hovered near it. It took him five minutes to cover the rooms. It looked as though Joseph had been staying with Lilly mostly; there was only old packet food in the cupboards and there were barely any clothes left out here. The only evidence that a female had been here was one of two jackets hanging at the coat rack near the back door. One was large, and obviously belonged to Joseph but the other was small, dark grey, Lilly's size. Stillman picked it up and took a long look before hanging it back on the rack.

"Where are you, Lil." He murmured. He hadn't entertained thoughts of suicide yet; Lil was stronger than that. But she wasn't the type of person to let her demons overtake her, and she had let herself slip off the radar too thoughtfully and easily. But John was still concerned about her cats; he couldn't imagine her leaving them for anything other than a suicide mission.


	4. Old Friends

"Hey, Lindsay, it's Scotty. You around the PD? Yeah, that's part of it… We'll be here." Scotty flipped his phone shut and slouched over further on the desk.

"So you think this friend of Lil's from high school is going to help us out?" Kat asked. Scotty shrugged, finally gave his backbone some relief by sitting up straighter.

"Probably not. She might know someone else that knew Lil. But she'll be up in fifteen. Just leaving court, she's got a spare few minutes."

"Anyone else we've missed?" Kat asked. Scotty looked down at the list they had. So far there was Ray; whose alibi had checked out. Christina's name, but it wasn't likely she could be tracked down, or that she had anything to do with it. She was too selfish to have cared about her sister's life. That left Ellen Rush, Lilly's mother. They'd called around and had discovered she was on an extended honeymoon with her new husband; somewhere in Canada. Also, probably too wrapped up in her own life to worry about Lilly. She wasn't even listed as a next of kin on Lil's personal file; Stillman's name was down as emergency contact and NOK. Usually EC and NOK were one and the same, but they were usually family members. Scotty had his mother listed, and was sure it made him extra careful in combat situations; he loved his mother, but she was loud, easily panicked and typically overbearing.

"There's Kite."

"Who?" Kat raised an eyebrow, looked puzzled.

"Jason Kite. An ADA here a few years back. He and Lil saw each other for a while."

"But…?" Kat sensed it was coming.

"I don't think his political aspirations are conducive to murder. Besides, he's in Pennsylvania these days. I called, left a message with his paralegal. Just waiting for a call back."

"So…" Scotty nodded.

"We're still at a dead end." He hated waiting around; hated not being out there, trying to close the case in the vain hope that it would bring Lil back. He was sure Ray had been right; that Lil was out there making her own list of suspects without needing the pity of her colleagues so close to her. She'd been cold enough to him when he'd tried to offer her some kind of comfort last night.

Of course, she could just be out there somewhere, trying to deal with the grief in her own way. She always seemed like she could take on anything and walk away relatively unharmed but he knew what a great actress she was. She'd managed to hold it together for four hours in the interview room with her world tumbling down around her.

Kat put down the phone, shook her head. They'd been alternatively trying Lilly's cell number. Not expecting an answer, but still having to try. It rang out every time before switching over to a full voicemail box which then hung up on them. Clearly, she wasn't answering. Jeffries had called her cell before they'd left her apartment, and they hadn't heard the phone ringing anywhere. Obviously she still had it with her.

"Hey, guys." Lindsay came out of the elevator, wind swept but still styled. She brushed a careless hand through her hair and settled it somewhat.

"Lindsay." Scotty pushed the chair out across from him with his foot before moving off the desk.

"Where's Lil? Time off? I've been trying to call her since I saw the news yesterday. I couldn't believe it…"

"Talk to her?" Kat asked. Lindsay shook her head, rearranged her briefcase at her feet as it started to slide over.

"She hasn't answered. Which isn't a surprise." Lindsay looked between them. "You know her as well as I do. She's not a big talker. Especially with something like this."

"We need you to give us some background on her. Anyone you know mighta wanted Joseph out of the way?" Scotty flipped open his writing pad. Lindsay looked between them.

"I thought Hom3 on the third floor was taking this?"

"This is unofficial. They're looking at Lilly as a suspect."

"Didn't help that she went AWOL this morning." Scotty felt Kat's glance shoot across to him as he revealed their sense of urgency. He knew where Lindsay's loyalty lay though; the same place everyone else's did here, firmly on Lilly's side.

"I heard they were looking at Lil. Didn't believe it for a second. She was happy with Joseph. Told me she couldn't remember feeling that way about anyone before. I think it scared her." Lindsay admitted. She'd talked to Lilly a few weeks ago; a quick phone call made between career women. Their usual ten minute catch-up had revealed Lil's depth of feeling for Joseph, and her question; should she take the leap. She was always the more cautious of the two, always looking at things not in terms of the experience but of the fallout. She'd been a stunner when they were in high school; thin and blonde. But Lindsay had seen her rebuke every date offer that came her way, until Ray came along to sweep her off on his Harley.

"There's really no one from back then that's kept in touch. We didn't go to the best school; nearly everyone dropped out before senior year. Out of the few that were left, no one really had a thing for Lil. Graduation day, she took off with Ray and that was the last I saw of her for a few years, until she showed up at the academy."

"Anyone there showed a particular interest in her?" Scotty knew they were reaching, but at this point clutching at straws was better than clutching at nothing.

"This doesn't go in official, does it?" Lindsay raised her eyebrows. She was revealing thing about Lilly that were private; things they'd shared in the spirit of old friendship. She knew Lilly wouldn't want it spread around the PD, available for some rookie to dig up in the future.

"Everything we're doing is in a box that goes to the incinerator. Prosecution gets their evidence, but the rest isn't being filed." Scotty knew Stillman would never let Lilly's personal life be available for anyone to read. That's why they were working on this angle; trying to cover it and come up with the perp before Lainey's team got together too much info on Lil. That, and to catch whatever bastard had decided to murder the man Lilly had seemed to love.

"One of her instructors at the academy decided he liked her. Soon as she graduated they got together. Were engaged shortly after but… Well, Lil hadn't said much about it, but some days when we'd have lunch she'd show up in long sleeves and high collars despite the fact that it was summer."

"What, he beat her?" Scotty was surprised, looked up from what he was writing.

"She never said it outright but I've seen the signs. Smart guy; he never touched her face. Then Chris came back, something happened, and Lil was out of there. Engagement off."

"Remember his name?"

"It was Patrick… I think Patrick Smith. Soon after they broke up, he lost his job at the academy. Kind of dropped out of sight."

"But Lil never said anything more about him? Harassing her, maybe?" Lindsay turned to Kat, shook her head, checked her watch.

"I've got court in twenty. I think that's about all I can help you out with… Lilly will come back. She probably just needs to figure some things out. She can take care of herself."

"Yeah. Thanks for that." Lindsay nodded, grabbed her briefcase.

"Just… Just find the guy who did it, okay? That'll bring her back."

Vera and Will knocked on the door of Mark's house. He was living in a house his parent's had owned; one of many. It had been passed on to him when they'd died. It was ten blocks from Lil's place; Vera had counted them out after they'd driven past Lilly's front step, still marred by the bleach.

"Doesn't sound like anyone's going to answer." Will hammered on the door once more before they gave up. His neighbour came out of her house, gym bag tucked under one arm, cropped pants tight over muscular thighs.

"Hey, you know the guy that lives here?" Vera yelled across the fence and she looked across, dropped the house keys in her bag.

"Yeah, Mark."

"You know where he is?" She came over to their side of the short cement fence that separated the properties.

"He mainly goes down to the pub in the daytime. Used to have a job. Used to have a wife and kids, too, but he lost them a few months back."

"You know what happened?" She shook her head and the long brunette ponytail flicked over one shoulder.

"All I know is he doesn't stop talking about some girlfriend he had a long time ago. No wonder his wife left him. Told me last week he had a plan for getting her back."

"That girlfriend; that Eve?"

"That's her. You guys cops?"

"Detectives, Philly PD." Vera flipped open his badge, and she gave it barely a glance.

"What did he say about Eve last week?"

"Just that he was going to go to her, make her see that she was right for him. I had no idea what he was talking about, figured he'd flipped out. He's been strange for a few years."

"Eve's murderer got put away a few years ago," Jeffries said to Vera. The woman looked between them, started shaking her head.

"Well this Eve is still alive. Or Mark thinks she is."

"You sure about that? Sure he wasn't just talking about his memories?"

"No way. He told me he'd been to see her once already but she was preoccupied with a lawyer. Few years ago. He was still with his wife then, though. So he couldn't do anything else. I think it's been building since then." She shrugged. "Maybe he got another Eve?" Vera and Jeffries looked to each other.

"You have a number we can call you on?" The woman dug around in her bag, came out with a wallet that she found a business card in. Will exchanged her a card of his.

"Can you give us a call if you see Mark come back?"

"Sure, but I'm flying out tomorrow night. If I see him before then I'll let you know." She tucked Jeffries' card in her wallet and gave them a wave as she walked to her car.

"What do you make of that?" Jeffries asked. Vera shrugged.

"Crazy guy. Doesn't mean he had anything to do with Joseph, but I don't think we can rule him out."

"Crazy guy with a thing for Lil. Who keeps talking about Eve being alive."

"When we get back, we'll dig out the file. Scotty worked with Lil on that case; see if he remembers anything."

"Hey." He looked familiar, but it took her a moment to place the face; she'd seen so many, some dead, some alive, that they had all started overlapping.

"Mark?" She looked further around the side of the door, wondering what he was doing there midmorning, alone. Wondering how he'd found her in the first place.

"Yeah, you remember." He seemed happy that she knew his name, and there was a pause in the conversation. Screw etiquette; she wasn't going to invite him in. She'd purposely caught a train and walked three blocks so she wouldn't know anyone here. Not that she knew him; the most tangible fact about him she knew was that he was disliked by one former Philadelphia ADA for interrupting his night.

"So, I saw you walk in here. And, uh… Well, I thought there was something, before… I mean… Well, you might be lonely, right? I watched the news… Joseph… Sorry." Lilly looked at the ground. She was too emotionally exhausted to tell him that the last thing she needed right now was an acquaintance from a case showing up on her doorstep and asking if she was lonely. She mentally scribed a note to her self; never think the day can't get any worse.

"But I guess now's not a good time, so I'm gonna give you a little bit of space. But I… Well, I'm around, okay? Here, I'll…" He pulled out a business card to Lil, who looked up. She didn't remember him speaking in such disjointed sentences last time they'd talked. He slipped the card into her hand and she shivered as his fingers touched hers and snatched her hand away. He looked hurt but recovered quickly.

"Guess you don't feel like being in your house at the moment." His shoe caught on the cement as he scuffed it and Lilly looked back down, imagining the pool of blood she'd come home to. The image was mentally seared into her memory, unlikely to ever be forgotten.

"Well… Bye." He took a step back, still watching her, before turning to walk away. Lilly shook her head and flicked the card towards the bin as she shut the door. It landed short, but she didn't bother to pick it up.

"Hey, somebody answered." Scotty held his hand over the mouthpiece as he motioned to Kat. She walked over, waited.

"Is Lilly there? Lilly Rush? Blonde… Okay… Where are you? Don't answer it again and don't go anywhere." Scotty scribbled on the pad in front of him before he hung up the phone.

"Some guy down at the park said a blonde lady handed him her phone that morning. Said she was carrying a bag, looked like she was going somewhere."

"He going to wait there for us?"

"He will if he knows what's good for him." Scotty grabbed his jacket and ripped off the piece of paper as they left.

"You and two of your detectives were at Lilly's Rush's house this morning." Lainey Deveraux had been assigned to Joseph's case and was one of the best in homicide; which roughly translated to being ruthless. She was more determined than a dog with a bone and had earned Stillman's immediate contempt when she'd pulled Lilly out of the squad room and sequestered her for hours, oblivious to the concrete possibility that Lilly wasn't a murderer.

"Yes, we were." Stillman turned to see her in his office, hands on hips. She was obviously a heavy smoker who was trying to quit, judging by the nicotine stains on her fingers and the heavily bitten nails.

"Well, where is she? After some guy knocked on her door and got no answer, my detective had a look around, figured she wasn't actually home and that he'd been watching an empty house."

"Guess that's some regretful police work." Stillman shook his head, offered her a seat as he sat down. She shook her head, remained standing. He knew office politics as well as she did; her standing over him trying to intimidate him was trumped by the fact that he held the higher rank.

"Well, where is she? We need to ask her some more questions. We didn't finish the other night."

"Is she still your number one suspect?"

"She's still on the top of the list, yes. You have to admit, all evidence points to her. The fact that she's a fellow homicide detective doesn't rule her out. Cops can snap as easily as the next person. We aren't looking at her exclusively, though. Common procedure demands we check everyone out. But we do have some more questions for Rush."

"So you're not arresting her yet, then?"

"There's no fingerprints on the weapon, no apparent motive and a small window of opportunity for another doer. You know the city doesn't arrest their own until the case is watertight. But we told her not to leave the city."

"Detective Rush is on personal leave, effective today. If you told her to stay put, I'm sure she hasn't left Philly." Lainey narrowed her eyes at him, arms folded. John looked up at her and leant on his desk.

"Detective Devereux, I will say this to you again; Lillian Rush did not kill Joseph Shaw. And where my detectives go when they're on personal leave is none of my business. You were the one with surveillance on her- out of anyone, you should know where she is." John watched as his words penetrated, the dig about the surveillance team hitting its mark.

"I'll put an APB out on her. We're going to find her, Lt. Stillman." Stillman nodded, watched as she walked out.


	5. Patrick

"Hey, which one of you just gotta phone call?" Scotty looked at the homeless people lined up along the park wall. Unshaven, unwashed and all wearing generic looking tattered clothing, fingerless glove encased hands clutching brown paper bags, he wondered whether their guy had stuck around. Or whether he was going to own up to it. Scotty took his phone out, hit the speed dial number for Lil's phone. They heard the ring and he walked over to the guy who was last in line as the rest started getting up, shuffling away.

"You. Give it here."

"I got rights. I get given a phone, I get to keep it." His indignation stirred something in Scotty, who pulled him harshly up by his lapels. One ripped, and the guy protested as Scotty pushed him against the fence, cutting him off short as his breath was taken away from the heavy blow.

"You give us the phone and tell us about the woman who gave it to you!"

"Scotty," Kat said quietly behind him. She could see the same raw anger coming out that had probably dropped the paedophile in the park. She didn't want this to end up the same; Scotty with a broken hand and the homeless man almost dead. He dropped the guy and took a step back, slipping his phone back in his pocket. The homeless man shuffled around in each pocket before he finally came out with Lilly's phone. Scotty snatched it off him and shoved it in his other pocket.

"Now, about that woman." There was a cough before the man started talking in a raspy voice.

"Blonde. Pale. A bit too thin… Had sunglasses on. Just handed me the phone and told me to have a good day. Gave each of us twenty bucks as well, which is where we got these." He hefted the brown paper bag slightly before letting it drop back onto the grass.

"Anything else you remember? You said she was carrying a bag."

"Small bag, black. She was wearing black too. Big boots. She had big boots on, motorbike boots. Had a black coat on, like the woman out of that show… With the guns, and the green letters that go the wrong way down the screen."

"The Matrix?" Kat asked, and the homeless guy nodded, suddenly enthusiastic. She looked to Scotty, who shrugged. Neither of them were interested when or how a homeless guy would have seen The Matrix.

"Which way did she walk?"

"Thataway." A grubby finger pointed north; a busy pedestrian area that led to the motel district and the train station; likely, both dead ends.

"So, that it? All you can remember?"

"That's it, Mr Man. You gonna give me anything for that phone?" Scotty shook his head, turned to walk back to the car.

"You want to walk that way, see if we can see her?" Kat asked her question as Scotty unlocked the car. Even after a day, she could Lilly's self controlled disappearance was eating away at the team. She hadn't known her for nearly as long, but it was starting to get to her. What made it worse was that they'd all seen how happy Lilly had been with Joseph. The higher they are, the harder they fall.

"Nah. She's long gone." Scotty slid into the car and started the engine. If Lilly didn't want to be found, she wasn't going to be found. But at least they could stop wasting their time calling her cell.

"So, what have we come up with today?" Usually, in a session of information sharing, everyone would be slouched around on desks and chairs. Today, chairs were pulled in close and everyone was on the edge of their seats, ready to input what they knew. This wasn't just another case; it was Joseph and, by extension, Lilly.

"We checked out a few people from Lil's past. Gotta hit on a guy she was engaged to after the academy." Vera looked forward, looking interested.

"From what a friend of hers said, he might have beat her. They broke up around ten years ago. We just got an address on him, haven't been out to see him yet. No one else is looking promising; Ray's got an alibi, and we're waiting for a call back from Kite." Scotty finished, nodded to Will to go ahead.

"Mostly, anyone that might have had a grudge with Lil is still banged up. But there's a case we caught a few years back; Eve Kendall."

"Friend's father was the doer, right?" Scott interjected. Kat kept quiet; she hadn't worked on this case and needed to absorb as much info about it as she could if it had anything to do with the present.

"Yeah, he died in prison. Son ended up going for a treatment in a mental facility after a brief stay in jail; he's in New York now, alibied okay."

"But Eve's boyfriend at the time seems to have flipped his lid." Vera cut in over Jeffries to continue.

"What, Mark Adams?" Scotty asked. Jeffries nodded.

"You remember him?"

"Guy had a thing for Lil. Took a message from him one of those days; said to tell Lil he was sorry for showing up in the middle of the night. Hoped everything worked out with her friend."

"Her friend?" Will asked. Scotty shrugged.

"Lil never told me what it meant. He showed up later that day, talked to Lil in private. You had a look at the picture we had of Eve?"

"Got it here." Vera shuffled through the file they'd checked out of storage and took a look before passing it to Scotty.

"Lil never saw the similarity. Something about the eyes, maybe…" He passed the snapshot to Kat, who nodded.

"You could tell Mark was hung up on how much she looked like Eve, though." Jeffries and Vera exchanged a look.

"What?" Kat asked, passing the photo to Stillman.

"We talked to his neighbour." Jeffries dug out her card. "Georgia Edmonds. She's a flight attendant. Told us Mark had talked to her about going to see Eve, telling her that she should be with him."

"But Eve's dead, right?" Kat asked.

"Turns out Mark's decided she's still alive. And that he already went to see her once before but she was preoccupied with a lawyer."

"Coulda been Kite? When did they break up?" Scotty said.

"But how would he know Kite's a lawyer? Unless he's been watching her." Kat said.

"Back then he still had a wife and kids too, probably stopped him doing anything. Georgia said he lost them a few months ago, that the wife probably couldn't put up with him talking about Eve 24/7 anymore."

"But why would he wait all that time to see Lil?"

"He might have seen her before, and she just never told us."

"Or, he mightn't have been as worried about it before if she wasn't in a relationship. Now, all of a sudden, some other guy's with his girl." Vera shrugged.

"You find Mark?" Stillman asked. Jeffries and Vera shook their heads.

"Georgia said he usually went to bars during the day. We tried nearly every one in the neighbourhood, but he wasn't there."

"This sounds promising; but so does this other guy, the one she was engaged to."

"Patrick Smith," Kat said. Stillman nodded.

"Chase that up. Nicky, I want you and Will to see if you can talk to Georgia again. Sounds like Mark might have talked to her a bit. Try and find the ex-wife, too. She was still in the picture when we worked the case. I went to the farm this morning, but… No one there."

"Reminds me, Boss. Kat and I got Lil's cell today; she gave it to some homeless guy. Gave a few of them twenty bucks each, too. Whatever that means." Scotty shrugged. Stillman nodded, rubbed his eyes under his glasses.

"Means we've got no way to tell her that Det. Devereux has put an APB out on her."

"For an arrest?" Scotty asked, heart rate quickening. They couldn't have enough to arrest her yet; DA's office never let police officer's arrest their own unless they were certain the evidence would back them up. For the department, there was nothing worse than bad publicity, and the lawyers were well schooled in this etiquette.

"Lainey says they don't have enough yet. Further questioning apparently." Scotty sat back in his chair, let out a breath. They were close to getting a break on this case; he remembered Mark and the way he'd looked at Lil, as if she was Eve twenty years later.

Scotty's desk phone rang and he picked it up as the team started moving again, getting ready to keep working. The case was made harder with the fact that they couldn't put up the information on the white board like they usually did in case Lainey came in and figured they were working, went over their heads to shut them down.

"Valens, it's Kite. I got a message you wanted me to call."

"Yeah. Something's happened here, just needed to know where you were yesterday morning. Around eight."

"Why?"

"Where were you, Kite?"

"I was here, in meetings. I can fax you through a transcript; it was political, taped for a media release. That'll give you the time. Is everything okay? Lil all right?"

"Yeah, yeah. Well… Did you know she was seeing someone?"

"We haven't talked in a while. She rang a few months ago, upset about something. I called her back, she told me not to worry. That was the last I heard from her. Is she okay?"

"What was she upset about?"

"I don't know. You know Lil, she doesn't do specifics. So what's going on?" Scotty nodded, before another thought occurred to him.

"Hey, you ever remember getting a midnight visit from some guy called Mark when you were at Lil's house?"

"Yeah, I remember that. Someone to do with the case she was working on. They talked out the front for a few hours; he left his wife and kids to go to her. Sometimes she doesn't realise the effect she has on people. You going to tell me why the twenty questions?" Scotty sighed, bit his lip.

"Lil was seeing someone; had been for a few months. He was murdered yesterday morning." Silence on the other end of the phone.

"Kite?"

"Is Lil okay? She didn't get hurt?"

"They're looking at her as the doer."

"You're joking?" Kite's voice was tight, his tone carefully controlled anger.

"I wish. We're trying to fly under the radar, find out who really did it."

"Who's the DA there?"

"Perry. Andrew Perry. Just elected. ADA is Michael McAdams. There was just a reshuffle." He could tell Kite was writing down the names.

"I'll get my paralegal to fax over that transcript. And I'll make some calls." Scotty felt his throat tighten slightly, and it wasn't just over Kite's immediate jump to help; it was Ray, and Lindsay's immediate reactions- that Lilly couldn't have done it. It was Kite, after not the most amicable break up in the world judging by their awkwardness whenever they saw each other afterwards, going to go over heads and pull in favours because he knew Lilly couldn't have done something like this either. And it was Lilly, who'd taken herself away and who wasn't here to see that there were people who loved her and who believed she was innocent.

"Yeah, thanks."

"Be in touch." Kite ended the call and Scotty hung up the phone, looking up at Will as he was putting his jacket on.

"Might be safe to assume Kite is the lawyer Mark was talking about. He said Mark showed up, talked to Lil for a few hours one night. He's going to make some calls, too; DA, ADA." Will nodded before he and Vera left.

She'd gone back to the blank piece of paper for a few hours before she finally turned on the television and found a news channel. She only had to wait fifteen minutes before there was a repeat of the same report that had probably been played yesterday. A white male – name unreleased- found stabbed to death at a Philadelphia residence. Police still chasing up several leads. There was a nice shot of her front step, blood still there. The same detective that Lilly had spent a hideous four hours with appeared on the screen, looking serious. She gave a quick quote about help from the public being needed before the newsreader gave a quick wrap up and launched into another homicide story, this time in Kensington. Lil switched the set off, lay back on the bed. She'd chosen a room that had two singles, and she let her arms hang off the sides of the bed, felt her shoulders crack. If he was here, he'd massage her back for her. Tell her she worked too hard, but that he wouldn't have it any other way. Lilly gave a bitter laugh before she rolled onto her side, pulling her legs up. She was working hard now. Working hard at trying not to think of him the way he'd been at the morgue; pale except for that lone stab wound that she'd seen. A bluish tinge to his lips. Eyes never able to look at anything again. He would never talk to her again, tell her about the rehab clinic he was planning to open himself or the way he liked her hair when it was damp and slightly curled or the cloud he'd seen that had reminded him of one of the cats. And she was never going to be able to come home from work and let herself into a house that had lights on, and a man she loved cooking her dinner in the kitchen, ready to kiss her and let her unload everything she needed to talk about. They were never going to make love again, or share an ice cream in the park on a Sunday or talk about names for children that might have been yet to come. Lil curled herself tighter, hugging her arms around her knees. She just wanted another day, another hour, another minute to tell him not to leave. That she loved him and that he shouldn't open the door to strangers. Closing her eyes tightly, Lil tried to fall asleep. Even then, there was no salvation from thoughts of him; not that she didn't want to think about him, but the images of him lying in the morgue were beginning to erase the images of him lying in her bed.

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	6. A few Blocks

"Patrick Smith?" Kat flashed her badge at the guy who opened the door to them. He was dressed in jeans and a singlet, and Kat was beginning to pick up Lilly's type of man; tall, muscle bound and damn fine looking. The inference that Lindsay had made erased some of his charm, though.

"Yeah. What's up?" He leant on the door jamb, threw her a lazy smile.

"Detectives Miller, Valens. Where were you yesterday morning between seven twenty and eight twenty?" He chewed on his bottom lip as he considered.

"Yesterday I was at work. Worked an extra shift. Money's always better on the double."

"We're going to need a number for your workplace." He scratched his hair, motioned them in. Surprisingly, the apartment was neat despite the fact that he look was too masculine to assume that a female lived there.

"I work at the museum downtown Thursday through Monday. Security guard. Usually nights, but I didn't get home till yesterday at ten. What am I a suspect in?" He grinned as he copied a number out of his cell for them and handed it over. He was remarkably cool about it, but he had been in the force; he knew protocol, and procedure, and probably knew he was innocent as well.

"You remember someone called Lilly Rush?" He paused, frozen, as the name sank in.

"Lil. Course I remember Lil."

"Used to slap her around, didn't you. Back when you two were engaged." Scotty picked up an antique silver ashtray that was perched on the mantel place, put it back down. Patrick leant against the wall and crossed his arms.

"I was in anger management. Lil knew that when we got together."

"What, so that made it her fault?" Scotty stepped forward, balling his fists.

"I don't know how well you know Lil, but she's changed a lot, from what I've heard. I mean, she probably still bruises as easily, but she never asked me to stop, y'know."

"She wanted you to hit her?" Another step closer, and Scotty was in swinging range. He couldn't believe this man; Lil had gone from Kensington, to the back of a Harley to a relationship with a man who should have been her superior and kept her safe but who had instead abused that trust- and her. And then who insisted that she wanted to be hit.

"She was fucked up. Gorgeous, but fucked up." In a single hit, the guy was down and Scotty was shaking the stiffness from his fist. It still hadn't fully repaired from the last time he'd given it a workout.

"Scotty!" Kat was too late in her shout, and he turned to her, gave her a look. Patrick was still on the ground, blood coming out of his nose, eyes venomous.

"This won't be the fucking end of this." As Patrick spoke, blood bubbled down to shake and drip off his chin. Scotty shook his head and made sure he had Patrick's work number before he left the apartment.

"What the hell was that for?" Kat asked when they were outside.

"No one talks about Lilly like that. And no one deserves to treat her like that." Scotty got in the car, still shaking with fury. Of all the nightmares he'd entertained about Lilly's life, this hadn't even been dreamt about. She'd let out some details; her loveless mother, her father not coming home one day. Chris had told him some more, but nothing had prepared him for this.

"Check his alibi." Scotty handed over the number and pulled away as Kat dialled. Five minutes later she hung up, shrugged to him.

"Checks out. Not much of a human, but he didn't stab Joseph." Scotty sighed, almost wished Patrick was the perp. What he wouldn't give to get that guy in an interview room alone for a few hours…

"So, guess Mark is it." Kat looked out the window, and Scotty nodded.

"Hey." Georgia had obviously come back from the gym and just stepped out of the shower, judging by the still dripping hair. She was in a yellow sundress, feet bare.

"We've got a few more questions about Mark, if that's okay." She shrugged, let the door fall open further so they could enter.

"Sure. I'm just packing anyway. Turns out I have to do a triple shift leaving tonight instead of tomorrow; Singapore, Australia and a stopover in Japan. You want a drink? Tea, coffee?" She turned and let them follow her into the kitchen. It looked over Mark's small square of backyard.

"Coffee would be good, if you've got it." Will said, and Vera nodded as they sat at the breakfast nook. She pulled a plunger out of a cupboard and busied herself with coffee cups.

"I haven't seen him at all. Just got back yesterday, though."

"Does he talk to you a lot?" Vera asked. Georgia rolled her eyes, nodded.

"I sunbake out the back sometimes, and he talks to me over the fence. Guess he doesn't really have anyone else other than his drinking buddies, and you've gotta get a girl perspective occasionally."

"Girl perspective?" Vera asked, eyebrows raised. Georgia smiled without looking up as she slowly depressed the plunger.

"You know, like a sounding board. Whether females prefer orchards or roses." She pauses, looked between Vera and Will.

"Orchids, all the way. Those flowers cost some money." She set two steaming cups in front of them and picked up a third.

"Talk to you about Eve?"

"All the time." Georgia rolled her eyes and took a sip of her coffee.

"He's definitely hung up on her. Everything was about her. He told me she just got better looking the older she got. One afternoon we had a fifteen minute conversation on how much better she looked with her hair down." Georgia shook her head, missing the look that was exchanged between Vera and Jeffries; Lil had only been wearing her hair down a few months, so Mark must have seen her recently.

"I mean, I don't know how this woman never realised she was being stalked."

"You think he was stalking her."

"Well, duh. Seriously, some guy knows that much about a woman who isn't his girlfriend, and can talk for that long about her… Definitely a stalker. I had a stalker a few years ago; crazy guy that flew with our airline a lot. The company blocked him eventually after I complained enough, but it was easy to tell he was watching me all the time. Then again, less places to hide on a plane to play a peeping tom I guess."

"What was the last thing you remember Mark saying about Eve?"

"Like I said, it was last week. He told me he was finally ready to take out the opposition. I figured he was going to have it out with some guy in another bar fight, or whatever. He's got a temper sometimes. Seems like the calmest guy, but I caught him killing his rosebush because he'd snagged his hand and bled on his shirt."

"Take out the opposition?" Vera pulled her back to the first point she made, and she shrugged.

"That's what he said. I thought it was just some weird sports reference."

"Fax here, from Jason Kite." Kat took the paper out of the fax tray, checked the time.

"It checks out." Scotty flexed his hand before he took it from her to put in the unofficial file they had. She gave him a look.

"You do know that guy's going to make trouble. He knows how far complaints can go if you make them right." Scotty shrugged, shook his hand out before he put it in his pocket.

"If I gets too far, I'll tell Stillman what he said about Lil and he'll work something out. I'll take suspended probation." Scotty shrugged again. At this point, he was ambivalent about his own career. He was stuck in the right now, held horribly motionless by a case that hit far too close to home. And he barely knew Joseph; he couldn't imagine what Lil was feeling. He was coming around to realising why she made herself so scarce. No one wants to be around to have their lives pulled apart, to be the reason their lover was murdered.

"Mrs Lenton?" After Mark, she'd changed back to her maiden name but stayed in the same house. The expensive toys scattered around the foyer behind her made it look like she'd come out on top of the divorce.

"Wendy, please. What's wrong? Elizabeth, I said stop teasing your sister! You two should be in bed." She turned to yell into the house as Vera pulled out his badge.

"We're detectives from Philly PD. Vera, Jeffries. We just need to ask you a few questions about your ex-husband." She sighed, nodded, leant on the door jamb.

"I'd invite you in, but I haven't seen him much since we separated. Even before then, I barely saw him after his childhood sweetheart's case got solved. So I haven't got a lot to say."

"Do you remember him saying anything about a woman called Lilly?" She frowned a little, started shaking her head before she paused.

"Actually, that might be the woman… The one who worked the case. She came to talk to Mark at the house one morning. That was all. He never really mentioned her again, it was all about Eve after that. He ran the family business to the ground, was out all hours doing god knows what. Finally, we ended things. Would've ended it sooner, except for the girls. He always loved Eve more than me anyway." She shrugged.

"What kind of things would he say about Eve?"

"Just that he'd broken his promise that he'd never leave her… Weird, though, he used to talk about her in the past tense then, after her murder was solved- with the right man in jail this time, he talked as if she was alive now. I tried to get him to see a counsellor but after a while I just couldn't be bothered."

"He ever say he saw her?"

"I don't remember. Everything from then is kind of a blur; I was working my job as well as trying to stop him losing the business and keeping the girls out of our problems."

"Anything lately?"

"He hasn't had the girls for a few months, but last time he came to pick them up he was really angry. Said something about Eve lowering herself to a man on a Harley. I had no idea what he was talking about, but I nearly tried to stop the girls going with him that weekend. When Mark gets mad, you don't want to get in his way. Elizabeth! I've got to go." They heard a scream from inside the house before the door was firmly closed.

"Patrick checked out, so Mark is looking more likely. You talk to the wife?" Scotty looked up as Vera and Jeffries walked in.

"Ex-wife."

"So what'd you find out?" Stillman came out; he'd seen them heading over to the desks.

"Gotta be him. Neighbour said he talked about taking out the opposition last week. Ex-wife said last time she saw him he was steamed about Eve taking up with some guy on a Harley."

"That would be Ray." Scotty nodded.

"When's he seen Ray?" Kat asked.

"Remember, months back. Showed up looking for her. He found her that night when we left the office. She got on the back of his bike and they left."

"So Mark's been watching her for a few months?"

"At least. Ex-wife said he'd let the family business slide after Eve's case got solved, was out most of the time. He coulda been watching Lil the whole time." Kat shivered.

"And she didn't know. Or she didn't say anything."

"We need to find Mark. At least Lil is probably somewhere he can't find her." Jeffries leaned forward, elbows on knees.

"She's somewhere no one can find her." Scotty said darkly.

"Reminds me; Devereux had to pull the APB on the DA's orders." Scotty allowed himself a small smile; Kite had come through.

"We'll be working through tonight." There was no question about it; everyone was in it until Joseph's killer was behind bars. Stillman continued.

"Will, you and Nick take Mark's house. Scotty, I want you and Kat to try out the bars nearby again, see if you can find him. I'm going to try and get a warrant for his house in the meantime, which means going through Lainey. But if the DA got them to pull the APB, he'll probably be able to get a warrant signed for us or them based on what we've got. Keep me informed."

"Will, you coming?" Vera was heading towards the elevators, keys and jacket in hand. Usually Vera bitched about stakeouts, but this time he was first out the door.

Lil sat up with a gasp, clawing at the air until reality took over the dream, made her lower her arms and try and remember what she'd been fighting. Immediately, the dream remnants that were slipping away was replaced by a single, flashing bulb; the news report hadn't mentioned names. But Mark had. And he'd shown up, almost like he'd been watching her, waiting for the right time to knock on the door. Whomever it was that had killed Joseph had to have been watching the house, otherwise they'd never have been able to get there in that time frame. Jesus, and he had been right here in front of her. The guy that had been almost convinced she was the reincarnation of his dead girlfriend. The guy that had shown up at her door at midnight to unload his problems, despite the fact that he had a wife he could talk to. Scrambling up from the bed, pushing her hair back, Lil found his card on the floor. Under his phone number, there was an address a few blocks from her apartment.

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	7. Arrest

"Second surveillance watch, ready to go." Scotty slid into the backseat of Vera's car and handed two cups of coffee through as Kat let herself into the other side. The car was away from the streetlights, tucked between someone's Rambo mobile; a high slung 4WD that looked like it had been in a mud fight, and a slinky Porsche that looked out of place on the street.

"No luck at the bars?" Scotty shook his head.

"No one's seen him down there for a few days. No movement here?"

"Nothing."

"Boss rang; Lainey's taken our information. Turns out they were still working off info with the last case, hadn't come up with anything. They hadn't considered the angle we took yet."

"Only that Lil might have done it herself."

"Anyway, they're mulling it over now but he thinks they're going to get a warrant through tonight. Meanwhile, when we see him we've gotta keep him covered but we can't intercept."

"Hey," Scotty said softly as a figure walked along the footpath. It came closer and was finally illuminated under a street light.

"That's him." Vera said. Subconsciously, everyone sank a little lower in their seats as Mark gave a quick glance across the street before climbing his stairs. It took him a minute to unlock the door in the dark and then he was inside, flipping a light on so they could see his shadow moving.

Lilly stopped a few houses from Mark's and dropped to a crouch. She'd been walking along the opposite side of the street when she'd noticed the car, tucked between two others. She'd walked to the right spot to see the four silhouettes inside and had recognised every single one. Obviously, they'd come to the same conclusion as she had; she wondered how many ghosts of her past they'd revisited to get here.

Back at the motel, she'd slipped out a window into the parking lot, then recircled. It had taken her ten uncomfortable, crouched minutes to spot him, tucked into an alley across the street. Finally, he'd turned and started the journey to his house, probably deciding she wasn't going anywhere for the night. A bus and a train later she had, so far, managed to follow him undetected. Holding her breath, realising no one in the car looked as if they'd spotted her, it seemed her luck was holding. Of course, it made it more difficult to get to him. She had planned on walking up to the front door and knocking, confident he'd let her in. He thought she was his dead girlfriend, and she was prepared to play that card if it got a confession. Now she'd have to find a back way in.

Carefully moving backwards Lilly waited until a car drove past her and sprinted across the street, hoping the movement of the car would mask her. She paused at the side of a house towards the end of the street and sighed. Now the fun part; a backyard dash.

A near miss with a small dog and an attack by a rose bush saw her in the yard of the house next door. It was dark; looked as if no one was home. By contrast, Mark seemed to have settled in for the night; flickering blue light suggested he was watching television. Probably seeing his own handiwork on the news.

Peering out over the fence as far as she dared, Lil saw the Ford. They'd managed to park it in the best surveillance spot; not only did they have the front covered, but they could see down the side as well. Lil leant against the fence. She was so close. All she needed was another car to go past so she could get over undetected. Fifteen agonising minutes passed before there was the sound of rubber swishing over asphalt. She stood, waited with breath held and threw herself over as it went past, skittling towards the back of the house. She waited again, caught her breath as she strained her ears for running footsteps coming from the car. After a minute of nothing but her own blood roaring in her ears, Lilly made her way to the back door. A few minutes at the lock and she was letting herself into the house.

"Is that… Anyone seeing two silhouettes?" Vera wound his window down, letting in the chill of the night as everyone looking intently at the house. Scotty and Kat had let Vera and Jeffries know they could handle the surveillance, but no one was leaving.

"Yeah, where'd they come from?" Kat asked.

"What's the back like?" Scotty said.

"Unless you're backyard hopping, there's no way in. Only on the left side, too. Right side is a high wall from the next house. We've got visual on that and I haven't seen anyone go over; you guys?" There was general dissent in their response.

"I'll call the boss, let him know." Jeffries picked up his phone as everyone concentrated on the figures inside.

"Mark." Lil walked to the lounge room doorway, crossed her arms. He looked up, surprised, before a smile spread across his face and he got up out of his chair.

"Hey. I'm glad you're here. Knew it was a good idea to go see you."

"You… you been watching the news?" Lil motioned to the television, which he'd muted.

"It's been on."

"Seen my house. The steps we sat on?" He was quiet for a moment, thinking, eyes downcast at his feet.

"I told you I'd never leave you." His voice was soft and Lilly moved closer to him, but remained out of arms reach. She didn't have a weapon with her, and she'd seen what he was capable of.

"What are you talking about?"

"When we were in the parking lot. When we were younger."

"Right before Eve was killed." She tried introducing the dualism; that there was her, and then there was Eve.

"If you died, how would you be standing in front of me?"

"Mark, I'm not Eve. I've told you that before." Lilly said it as gently as she could manage, with the last bit of self control that wasn't involved in stopping her springing across the room to put her hands around his throat. He took a few steps back.

"No. You're her. You look so alike, and you're so… You're as alive as she was." She could see the panic flaring in his eyes; the realisation beginning to take shape. He'd been deluding himself for too long, though, for it to vanish that easily.

"No, Mark. I'm Lilly. And the man you killed… He was… He was…" She couldn't finish the sentence so she left it open, leaving it up to Mark to make the conclusion.

"He wasn't right for you. He doesn't love you as much as I do." She remembered him then, when he'd come to see her at the office. She almost wished she could have told him that she was Eve, just so she could grasp all that love for herself. She could see it in his eyes, the way it could be easily transferred, until he got to know her and found out how different she had been at fifteen to the girl he loved. That she hadn't been innocent eyed, dreaming of a recording contract and fame. That she was doing her best to just survive, to hold together a fraying family, keep herself away from whichever deadbeat her mother was hooked up with for that week and scrape through school, despite her ever-present hunger and declining dreams that she might ever get out of there. Then again, at that point, she'd still been, though tenuously, with Kite. She'd never supposed it would come to this; that what he'd tried to express would burgeon and grow and end up leading him to kill her soul mate. It had come full circle; he'd told her Eve was his soul mate, and asked her if she'd ever loved someone that completely. She had, too briefly, until he'd taken that away from her.

"But I loved him." Her voice was almost a whisper, and Lilly felt herself faltering. She thought she'd be able to hold it together, have anger as her strength. But she'd realised that, whatever she did, whatever revenge she took, it wouldn't bring Joseph back to her.

It seemed to take him only a second as he crossed the space between them, arms outstretched. Lilly dodged, not quick enough. A blow to her cheekbone as she'd dropped put her off course but she turned quickly, put in a blow to his solar plexus. Gasping, he was still and she slammed her palm into his nose, hearing the satisfying crunch of bone breaking as he dropped to the floor. His hands went to his face, but they didn't cover his eyes, looking up at hers.

"I did it for you." His voice was stilted, interwoven with the breaths he had to take through his mouth now his nose was out of action. Lilly leant towards him

"And I'll never forgive you." That blow had landed more firmly than anything she'd done to him physically. He hadn't wanted to attack her, he'd just wanted her to be Eve and stop giving him her own thoughts. He was still seeing his dead girlfriend in her, and it was as if she'd spoken those words across the valley of death. Lilly pulled out the spare pair of cuffs she'd found at her house and turned him over. Standing up once his wrists were tightly bound by the metal, Lil wiped a hand across her eyes, wincing when she hit the cheekbone he'd managed to get. She wanted to give herself a minute of satisfaction, but she couldn't feel it. She had no one to share it with, no one to kiss her and smile at her and tell her the world was safer because she was out there.

Straightening her back and readying herself for the questions she'd have to answer, Lilly walked to the front door and opened it.

"Is that Lil?" Jeffries asked. Scotty was already halfway out the car door. Her back was straight and her eyes were directed straight at them as she walked in their direction. Stillman had told them not to move in unless they sensed a struggle; they'd never entertained thoughts that it might have been Lilly in there with him, otherwise they'd have been inside in a second, orders be damned.

Scotty slowed his jog as he crossed the street and reached her, stood as near to her as he dared. She wasn't the kind of person you could offer comfort to easily.

"He's cuffed, inside. He did it; admitted it." She folded her arms, further warding off human contact. She was wearing what the homeless man had told them. Long black coat, big black boots. In all the black, she looked too thin, too fragile to have just confronted her lover's killer and come out seemingly unruffled. But that was Lil; an enigma to the end.

"How… Are you…?" Scotty tried to ask the question, but couldn't find a way to phrase it that wouldn't seem condescending. She shook her head slightly, looked away from him across the street. Vera was just hanging up his phone and he and Will were making their way over.

"Cuffed, inside." Scotty said when they drew closer, so Lilly wouldn't have to repeat herself. They stood in a small circle, Kat going inside to check on Mark, silence reigning amongst them.

"Stillman coming down?" Lilly finally broke the silence. Vera nodded.

"Devereux got the warrant for him. They'll be upset they didn't cuff him, that they can't get the glory." As if by request, Stillman's car came roaring down the street, pulled up in front of the house. He stepped out, came over to them.

"Kat's inside with Mark." Vera said. Stillman nodded, his attention on Lil. She looked up at him and Jeffries took a step back, motioned to the others. They heard her first words to him as they walked slowly up the stairs.

"Sorry, Sir."

"Textbook take down for a guy resisting arrest." Kat had kept Mark on the floor, where his nose had bloodied the floorboards. Scotty exchanged a glance with Jeffries; he'd been expecting to find Mark with more injuries than a broken nose.

"Bring him out, take him down to the station." Lainey's voice came in from outside and the detectives all winced. If she was still on the war path, she'd probably request them all to fill out reports by hand in duplicate and to have them on her desk by the morning. Never mind that they'd just solved her case.

Two officers in blue came in, offered nods to the team as they got Mark to his feet and marched him out. Lainey stood aside at the door while they passed, looked in.

"I'll need reports by the end of the week." She nodded herself, looking pained to say the next sentence. "Good work, I guess." Mark was taken outside as the search team came in, gloves on. She followed them inside, cold case team ignored as they left and she began barking orders. Stillman was still outside with Lil, both of them in the same positions, her arms still folded. They all gathered around, waiting for next instructions. The killer had been caught, but there wasn't the shared feeling of justice done, like there usually was. Joseph was still dead, and Lilly was still too quiet, too motionless.

"Tomorrow we can write up the reports. Good work today, everyone." Scotty snuck a glance at his watch. They'd all been at work for sixteen hours straight. He remembered Lilly's phone in his pocket, pulled it out. She took it wordlessly, almost reluctantly, dropped it into a side pocket in her coat, meeting his eyes with a brief look of thanks. There was an awkward silence between everyone before Lil took a step back, nodded at the Lieutenant. He nodded back and she turned and started walking away. Within moments, she'd melted into the dark.


	8. Finit

"Hey, Scotty." The bleached step was in between them like a beacon, reminding him of what she'd lost. Her eyes were more telling though; twin depths still pooled with hurt. He assumed her cheekbone had been bruised by Mark; it was a dusky yellow colour, looking like a dirty handprint across her skin. It had been almost a week since she'd been outside Mark's, a week exactly since Joseph had been found. The Boss had told them she was on department-enforced leave while the case was still being finalised. Scotty wondered whether it was just a cover, a convenient lie to prevent the rest of the team knowing that she didn't want to come back. Not yet. Maybe not ever. He'd never have imagined anything would end Lil's career as a detective, short of a bullet in the line of duty. But here she was in front of him, body bullet free.

"Just thought I'd see how you were going." She swung the door open wider to let him in. He wasn't the first one to come to her door. The Lieutenant had already seen her about taking leave. Even if the department hadn't asked for her voluntary absence, she might have called in all the holiday time she'd never taken so she wouldn't have to endure the stares and the quieting conversations as she passed. Jeffries had shown up as well, bringing her a small bouquet of flowers in their own vase. She'd taken them carefully, smiled automatically, felt nothing.

"I'm okay. You know. Just waiting until my leave is over. You working on anything interesting at the moment?" Scotty sank onto a couch as Lilly motioned to it, and looked around. There were no books lying open anywhere. The television was blank and he hadn't heard a CD stop as he knocked. From what it looked like, Lil hadn't been doing anything except sitting. He could barely begin to imagine it; after Elisa, he'd needed nothing more than to move around to stop all the thoughts catching up with him. What he should have said, should have done. He'd decided guilt settled more heavily in the motionless.

"We've gotta case. Woman bludgeoned to death outside a supermarket in the '60s. Only just started the job; we're still talking to family members. Tomorrow we get to track down anyone who was standing around outside. We'll have to take out an ad in the paper; remember where you were on the 16th of September, 1962? If you were standing outside the Blurther Mart of Pickering and Mountview, you're wanted for questioning." He was babbling and he knew it. When he looked up, Lil smiled automatically, but he could tell it never reached her eyes.

"Sounds interesting."

"Yeah," his tone was awkward. Again, he wasn't sure what to do. He'd lost Elisa, but he'd always found a part of her missing. He sensed Joseph had been there for Lil, all of him, as if it would last forever. Elisa was always poised for another hospital visit.

"DA says the case against Mark is strong." He moved onto the case, not sure if he should be treading this far into murky waters.

"Not strong enough to keep him out of a psych ward." She had a good point. Mark was likely to plead insanity, get sentenced to a hospital stay, convince them he was sane and be back on the street sooner than anyone who has taken a life should be.

"They'll do what they can."

"Always do." Her tone wasn't bitter but he sensed the resignation behind it, the battle half lost. Again, he wondered if she'd come back, what she'd do otherwise.

"Well, I'd better get back. Just thought I'd drop around." He'd run out of things to say; he and Lil had known each other longer than idle chitchat would permit, and that was what he was going to have to resort to.

"Thanks for coming around." She was polite, but made no move to keep him there, to want to pour her heart out. Then again, Lil's heart, if it was poured anywhere, had probably gone into the ground with Joseph.

"Yeah. Stay in touch, Lil," he spoke as if she was leaving, and it alarmed him. Was this a goodbye?

"Yeah. Bye, Scotty," the door was closed before he could wonder about it anymore. He waited on the step a moment, being careful to stay in the dark areas only, not the part where the blood had been. There was no further noise from inside, no radio, no TV. Sighing, Scotty left. He dealt with people whose lives had changed, dealt with death and murder and the callousness of the human soul and he remembered the anger, and the need for revenge, and even the sadness that still lingered, tangible, thirty years later. But rarely did he find the quiet resignation in Lil, the lack of fight coming so soon after a death. He wondered what it meant.

Lilly peered out the window, watched the Taurus drive away. Another day, another case. She would have assumed she'd want more details, want to be part of it even though the Boss had told her she wasn't back in until he said. But she didn't want to hear about it, didn't want to deal with people, to sympathise with them losing their loved ones when, finally, she could say 'I know how you feel' and really mean it.

It had been her dream to be a cop, to right the wrongs, and fix up her little bit of the world. To keep the bastards down. Now it seemed her dream was fulfilled, at least as much as she'd wanted. And it had gotten her lover killed.

She didn't know whether she'd ever go back, whether she could do what she'd done before when she wasn't the same person inside. She didn't want to know, not yet, didn't want to wonder what came after a dream.

At the moment, she just needed to remind herself to keep breathing.

_Finit_


End file.
